On 'being', and that's enough!

Natália Leal

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December 22, 2022

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In a society where we are valued by our outputs, it is no surprise that we feel so pressured to do more and more and more... often until we feel so overwhelmed that we break :( We learn to associate our self-worth to what we do... and end up becoming 'Human Doings'. It's the 'cult of doing'.

If you have the courage and allow yourself the space to really listen to yourself, you will recognise that we are, instead, truly 'Human Beings'. Being is enough. Being is all that matters. Being is your true essence.

‍Moving to another country is generally much more about doing than it is about being. We know we will likely feel different in a new country yet our motivations are generally grounded on going there to do something, often work, sometimes adventure or exploration. We rarely stop to notice who we have become and how we have 'been' while living abroad.

‍We also measure our success and failure this way. No matter how we might write the sentence, 'busy' is not a state of being, but rather a state of doing. We keep ourselves busy doing things, mostly for others, in the expectation that we will receive the love, respect and recognition we all crave for. Yet, as long as we assign the source of those rewards to external parties, we will never be free to be happy and enjoy life; we'll be dependent on what we can 'do' to exchange for that, how much we can get for our 'doings/outputs'.That is an expectation we often also project onto others, including our partners and children... You can gain my love and respect in exchange of what you do (and not so much, who you are).

What if we just dared to 'be' - at least for a few minutes every day - and, in doing so, be the provider of what we most need: love, acceptance, recognition? From ourselves, first and foremost! :)

‍Yes, we still need others: they enhance our experience, who we are, we are better human beings because of them. But the foundations for that construction need to be built on what we bring to the table: our self-love, self-acceptance, compassion and kindness. Encouraging our analytical minds to have a rest and just being in the moment. And to accept that - thought we can wish for more - what we can offer ourselves is already ENOUGH!!

‍Wondering how exactly can you craft more time for 'Being'? Here are a couple of ideas:

1. Plan some regular down-time. Daily breaks (to do nothing) but also the occasional longer reflection day.

2. Go into nature: Walk or sit down somewhere in nature and just be.

3. Focus on your core values. Make sure that (most of) what you do is based on what truly matters for you, not on external demands and expectations.

4. Embrace new perspectives about boredom, procrastination and the JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). Enjoy letting go! :)

‍5. Breath. Slow, long breaths......

6. Say 'No' more often and/or use the 'One In, One Out' approach. While this principle comes mostly from acquiring/getting rid of material items, consider applying it to your commitments. If you are considering getting involved into a new project at work, a new hobby or a new (regular) social engagement, make sure you are 'getting rid' of another one - you can't keep pilling up your agenda and expect not to be overwhelmed by your To Do's list; your 24 hours do NOT stretch!

‍Check the image and video below for more ideas and reflection on this topic... :)

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