Titles, Honorifics, and the Surprising Power of a Name [An Expat Pocket Story]

When I first moved abroad, I quickly realised that what you call someone—or what they call you—can carry a lot more weight than I’d ever imagined.

In Portugal, the moment I graduated, I earned the title “Dr.” (Doctor). No PhD required—just completing university was enough to be addressed as “Dr. Natália.” And you know what? It opened doors. I remember going to the bank, introducing myself as Doctor, and immediately feeling that my meeting with the manager had shifted to something smoother, more respectful, more serious.

Then I moved to the UK. Things were a bit different there. Titles were still used, but softened: “Professor Mary” or “Professor John.” Formality mixed with familiarity. It felt professional but friendly.

And then… I moved to the Netherlands. Titles? Gone. Everything was first names, all the time—even with senior managers, professors, or high-ranking officials. It was refreshing, egalitarian… but also a bit confusing at first for a Portuguese like me.

But the real surprise came when I travelled to India, after being in the Netherlands for a few years already. Suddenly, everyone introduced themselves with titles again: “Doctor this,” “Professor that,” “Director so-and-so.” And I realised, technically, I could (maybe even should?!) have introduced myself as “Doctor” too. But after so many years of informal introductions, I hesitated. I stuck with “Hi, I’m Natália”—and felt unexpectedly underdressed, like I’d left something important behind.

That moment taught me something profound: titles and honorifics aren’t just formalities. They’re signals of respect, status, and belonging. They can open doors—or close them—depending on how well we read the cultural room.

🌍 Living and working across cultures has taught me that adapting doesn’t mean losing yourself—it means being willing to learn the subtle codes that shape connection.

I’ve since learned to start every cross-cultural relationship with a simple question:

👉 “How would you like me to address you?”

Because sometimes, a name isn’t “just” a name—it’s an entry point into a whole different way of relating.

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🎥 Want to hear me tell this story? Watch the video here:

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